Friday, April 15, 2011

We're the Government, and we're here to help you.......

I could probably have a Lloyd's Daily Fail blog.

Maybe I will.

I went back to the snack machine (cardboard box with a slit in it for money) and encountered my co-workers in a huddle.  Lloyd requested that I not leave because he was conducting a caucus and needed my input. Oh GROOVY, can't wait...

The Director, Harry and Nazi Beyotch are all out of the office, which means by default that Lloyd is the acting director, but since Lloyd is............. well..... Lloyd, the Director usually puts Normal Guy(NG) in charge, but she forgot to do that today.  (See organizational chart)

Lloyd is standing there looking at the papers he has in hand, then at me, then at Normal Guy then back at the papers.  After 30 seconds or so, I say (again with the wtf look) what is the issue at hand? See, I had to ask him, just like when my child says mom... mom.... mom.... and I am looking him in the eye, and he keeps saying my name until I actually say WHAT?  

Anyway, Lloyd explains that a customer has come in requesting a temporary business license (Traveling Merchant) to come in to our city and sell his wares for 2 weeks.

Me: OK?

Lloyd: He wants to operate out of a hotel room.

Me: Ok?

Lloyd: He is going to go door to door selling children's books.

Me: No.

Lloyd: But...

Me: No. Hello, we are the home of the Green River Ordinance which prohibits door to door solicitation of any kind. see here

Lloyd: *nervously looking at NG and me* but geez, we're not giving him a license to do that, we're just giving him a license to do business, what he does with it is not our problem, right?

Me: Uh, no. You have in your hand a written proposal for door to door sales. We cannot give him a license to do that.

Lloyd: too bad NB isn't here, or Director.

Me: Why? This is easy. Just tell him no, we can't issue a license for door to door sales because of the Green River Ordinance.
*now NG is wishing he could leave, but Lloyd can't address the customer alone so he is trying to rope NG into going to the counter*

Lloyd: I think we'll just tell him to come back Monday.

Me: *refrains from saying WTF is your problem? Just man up and say no.  You are effing ridiculous. I'll freaking tell him.* Instead I say: Fine, then send him downstairs to the PD and have them explain what will happen the first time someone calls them complaining about somebody selling door to door here.  I don't really understand the problem here.

Lloyd: Nah.... *Sigh* C'mon NG, let's go talk to him.

So now the customer has been standing at the counter, knowing that a "caucus" is going on in the back and after waiting there for 7 minutes or so, the huddle breaks up, and we all come walking out front.

The AA and I split off to our respective desks and NG and Lloyd go to counter to "assist" him.
(NG is only standing there for moral support of Lloyd because the "N" in his name could also stand for Nice....)

Lloyd explains to the customer that the boss is out until Monday so please, come back then.
The customer was really hoping for an answer today. He's from out of town (hence the need for a Traveling Merchant license).  Lloyd is unwaivering in his indecision and sends the guy away.


Lloyd, you give government a bad name.

I don't like telling people no, and always try to find a way to help them accomplish what they are trying to do, but there is a limit.

I suppose if someone came in for a business license for a Meth Lab, Lloyd would give them an application for a Home Occupation permit.


1 comment:

  1. Lloyd is making my head ache.